sing loud! it's a big world

*YOU FORGOT THAT I'VE GOT THIS FAR WITHOUT YOU*

everyone thinks i'm dumb
But i'm smart because i've figured it out.
I am slimmer than you are.And i'm burning my skin off little by little.
until I reach the bone.
until I get where i'm essential
until I get to where I am.
Food does'nt even tempt me anymore.
Because I am so full of energy and sense.
i can even pass by wather now
Because i'm living off the parts of me i dion't need anymore.
I could feel the slow drips og pain before
swirling inside where my lungs should have been
now i'm clean inside.
I threw out hundreds of things that i didn't need anymore
all my dresses and bars
stupid things like jeans and socks
most days i float thru the house so i can see myself in the mirrors
i have them everywhere
and thet talk back to me all the time.
they keep me true and pure.
they make shure i'm still here.
when i knew what i had to do
i took all my notebooks, all my manuscripts
and ate them page by page so i could take the words with me
i can finally control my life and even death
and i will die slowly like steam escaping from a pipe
this is my greatest preformance
and all the actresses who won my parts will say how wonderfol
to let yourself go that mad
how wonderfol to go this kind of journey
and not care if you come back to tell the story
i scratch words on the walls now so people will isit this museum.
and know how someone like me ends up like this
(they'll say there is art in here somewhere)
everything that comes out of me is sacred
every fingernail, every eyelash every hair.
starvation is sacred and i scratch my bones against the window at night.
i light candles and feel myself living again.
this body is a little church i've gone inside
my family does'nt call anymore
my friends din't call anymore
you can't hurt me anymore
they can't hurt me anymore! they can't hurt me anymore
only I can...
and that''s okay.
i don't need them anymore. i can live of me
i speak to me. i dance with me
ieat me
when they find me. i'll have a little smile on my face
and they'll wrap me in white cloth and lay me in the ground.
and say they don't understand
but i do.
i don't hurt anymore
i'm not lonely anymore. i'm not sad i'm not pretty anymore.
i made it trough
i feel so holy and clean when i stretch out on the floor and sing.
sometimes god comes in for a minute and says i'm doing fine
i'm almoust there
everyday i get a little closer to vanishing
somedays i can't stand up because the room moves under my feet.
and i smile because i'm almoust there, i'm almoust an angel
one day when i am thin enough i'll be outside
dluttering my hands so i can fly.
and i will be so slight
that i will pass through all of you my silently like wind